


No Going Back

by heartsdesire456



Series: Coulson Family Fics [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, BAMF Phil Coulson, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Rescue Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 11:51:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1386613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Skye, you’re very likely going to see me do things you've never seen me do before. Things that might scare you. You're going to see someone you're afraid of and it's going to change the way you look at me forever. Can you handle that, or do you need to stay behind for this mission?” he asked in a grave tone. “This isn’t a test. This isn’t the usual mission. You’ve seen a lot more than I let most people see, but there are exactly four people in this world that have seen a truly pissed off and disconnected Phil Coulson, and one of them is the man that I’m going to rescue.”</i>
</p><p> </p><p>The two teams mount their rescue mission to get Clint back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Going Back

**Author's Note:**

> Phil is a little dark here. He is REAL, HARDCORE Shield Assassin here. So fair warning, this is a man trained to kill trying to get back his husband. You can imagine how violent it's gonna get.
> 
> (Details of a certain thing are totally inspired by an episode of Almost Human. LOVE that show!)

Both the quinjet and Iron Man suit were faster than the Bus, but Phil knew they were both hanging back. He was pretty sure Stark was actually flying loops around the Bus to wave at people through the windows, but more or less, everybody was hanging back. They knew damn well that Phil would lead the infiltration.

They had singled in on a mansion with a strange energy usage reading in the countryside not far outside of Stuttgart. Clint had sent the message from there, so it was likely something was going on and he was still being held but had escaped his bounds at least long enough to get the signal sent. Phil was coordinating over the comms with the other plane, getting things settled, before he had left to go suit up.

When Phil came back, he could hear the talking stop. He walked back to the holotable and saw that Steve and Bruce were both wide eyed from their end of the video feed. “Whoa… I didn’t know you even had one of those, Phil,” Bruce said and Stark jumped in.

“One of what? What am I not seeing? Dammit, why did my HUD frequency have to not mesh with the super spy plane?!” he complained.

Phil cleared his throat. “I believe the reaction is to my field uniform, Mr. Stark.”

“Coulson put on the cat suit?!” Natasha called from the cockpit of her plane and he watched Steve and Bruce look forward to where she was sitting. “Fuck. Is it really going to be that bad, Sir?” she asked.

Phil hummed. “If it has to be, I want to be prepared. We’re going in blind and this is one time I’m willing to hang up the suits,” he said simply, checking the zips on all the pockets of his vest. He looked at Ward. “I have to say, this does allow greater range of motion. I see why you and Barton like them.”

Skye came walking in, tablet in her hands. “Okay so we should be there soon, I think I can get us into the security feed- whoa, why are you in a catsuit?!” she asked as she looked up and spotted Phil. She looked him up and down. “Oh my God, you’re wearing _thigh holsters_.”

Phil’s jaw clenched as he looked at Skye and realized something. “Skye, can I have a moment?” he asked, nodding his head as he walked out. He took her to the back hallway and faced her. “We need to talk.”

“Okay, why the secrecy?” she asked in a lower voice.

“Look… we don’t know what we’re going into. I’m confident you’re prepared to be the eyes on this mission, but…” Phil hesitated. “Skye, you’re very likely going to see me do things you've never seen me do before. Things that might scare you. You're going to see someone you're afraid of and it's going to change the way you look at me forever. Can you handle that, or do you need to stay behind for this mission?” he asked in a grave tone. “This isn’t a test. This isn’t the usual mission. You’ve seen a lot more than I let most people see, but there are exactly four people in this world that have seen a truly pissed off and disconnected Phil Coulson, and one of them is the man that I’m going to rescue.”

Skye took a heavy breath but nodded. “I- I can handle being scared of what you do if I was able to handle being scared of what had been done to you.” She looked up at him with wide eyes. “Phil, I saw you begging to die. I remember you screaming in pain and crying and begging to die. Trust me when I say I’ll take pissed off and dangerous over that any day.”

Phil nodded. “You’ll never see that again, so we should be fine.” He shook his head. “Trust me, I’ve been tortured more than most people ever endure and I never cracked until they brought me back from the dead. You’ll never see that side of me again.”

When Phil and Skye came back, May was waiting. “Sir, ETA is about twenty minutes until we go stealth and…” May stopped, looking him over. Her face closed down tight and she nodded. “Confirmed black op?” she asked.

Phil shook his head, turning to face the holotable. “Absolute carte blanche.” He clicked on his earpiece to test it and to patch Stark in again. “Everybody, our ETA to stealth is twenty minutes so I want to go over this fully.” He looked at the table rather than anybody’s face. “Full disclosure means I have to tell you all what I just told Agent May, and that is that I have an absolute carte blanche. SHIELD has no responsibility for this operation. They have absolute deniability. There is no extraction plan because this is off book.” He looked up at the video feed. “Bruce, you are here only in a medic capacity. You will stay on that quinjet and be ready for possible wounds to tend.” Bruce nodded obediently. “Simmons, you are the medic for our team so have the lab ready. I plan to have Agent Barton here with our better medical supplies, so you need to be prepared,” he said and she nodded. 

“Yes, sir.”

Phil looked around. “Fitz, you will assist Skye in any way she needs.” He looked at Skye then back to the screen. “Captain, I know you like to call the shots, but today, while I am giving the ultimate orders, Skye is calling the shots. She’s going to guide Stark through how to patch her into the security and once she has that, she’ll be our eyes and ears. She’ll see threats so if she says duck, you do it.” His jaw worked once more before he spoke. “Agent May, Agent Ward, you are free to stay on the Bus if you like. I won’t ask you to do this.” He looked at both of them. “Ward, you’ve never been involved in this type of thing, and May, you were promised you wouldn’t have to do this ever again.”

She nodded. “Thank you, Sir, but Specialist Barton has saved my ass more than a few times. I’m not turning my back on him now.”

Phil nodded. “The same goes for Rogers and Stark. You are free to stay out of this. Captain, you won’t like the things I’m going to do, and Stark, you are a free man. If you get us in, all I really _need_ is Agent Romanov and myself to actually carry out this rescue.”

“Bullshit, you really think you can take the compound with you and Widow alone?” Stark asked skeptically. “You two are badasses, but nobody’s’ that badass.”

Natasha had been noticeably silent, but she spoke up now. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Stark. There are four people in this world who knows what Phil is actually capable of. Two of us are hearing this and one is the object of this mission. Director Fury may be on all of our shit lists right now, but he gave Phil carte blanche because he knows that if SHIELD recognized this mission, it would be held responsible for something our PR just can’t handle right now.”

Phil nodded. “There’s a reason we left Thor behind, Stark. His ‘fight for glory’ side wouldn’t be able to handle what Agent Romanov and I are good at.”

Bruce gave him an uneasy look. “I’m not sure I like the sound of that, Phil.”

“I mean this with no disrespect, Dr. Banner, but there’s a reason you’re not getting eyes and ears on us when we go in,” Phil said simply. “So, who wants to stay behind?” he asked. “Nobody will be judged for choosing to stay back.”

Ward stepped up. “Sir, can I make a suggestion?” he asked, and Phil nodded. Ward looked around and then face the camera. “Captain, if Coulson, May, and Romanov are the ones who plan to do the actual extraction and Stark is in charge of helping Skye get us in, what if the three of us, you, Stark, and I, get them in and then draw the fighting to us?” he suggested.

Steve nodded. “That sounds like a fine plan, Agent. Sir?” he asked Phil.

Phil nodded. “Stark is good at causing a commotion,” he said and Stark laughed over the comms.

“Sounds good. The two Big Sexys can cause a distraction for me to get Coulson-With-Hair into the system then I can join them. Team Silent Death can go in while we’re drawing the attention,” he confirmed.

Simmons stepped up. “Sir, I would suggest that you, Mr. Stark, and Grant all stay close by. If even one of them gets injured, getting Specialist Barton out may require some to help with the extraction. One injured person besides Barton means that both the others will have their ability to fight hampered by the person they’re helping carry out. Hopefully that won’t happen, but it’s a possibility.”

Stark clicked in. “Agent, I can get to your position without any danger of being shot or stopped in this suit, not to mention I can carry someone out a lot faster than you guys. Just make the call and I’ll leave our fight and get straight to you.”

“Guys!” Skye interrupted. She came over and flicked something from her tablet to the holotable. “Satellite images are in. Looks like there’s an underground facility beneath the mansion. That’s where all the power is headed,” she said, flicking the image so it spun. “See this?” she asked, pointing to a long corridor. “This is the only way in and out other than through the mansion,” she explained. “However, this-“ She highlighted a vertical shaft. “This is _our_ way in.” She cursed. “Stark, you can’t see this, but what I’ll need from you is to get into the mansion. Cause a big commotion if you can. You may want to do a flyover with the jet and drop Steve with you and you guys just storm the castle basically. Then I need Steve to draw the fight and you to get into what I’m assuming is the center of security. There’s a higher power usage in a room off the front hall than anywhere else in the house. I need you to patch me in. We’re not landing either plane until you get me patched in. We’re going to land about three fourths of mile away since the compound will be distracted by you guys fighting and won’t notice a team of three people coming through the woods, over the wall, and down a ventilation shaft until it’s too late.”

Phil nodded, actually pretty impressed by Skye’s plan. “Sounds perfect. Only adjustment I’d make is that Stark, Rogers, and Ward, when he gets to them, should keep the fighting in the mansion. Stray bullets outside could make getting out of the airshaft with injured personnel difficult.”

Skye nodded. “Agreed.”

May looked at her watch and tipped her head. “Time to go stealth. Widow, switch to silent and shut off all location equipment. Radio silence until we arrive.”

Phil nodded. “That means you, Stark. I’ll signal with one click as the signal for you to go in, Stark, and for Rogers to make the drop. Dark canopy if you have one, Captain.”

“Roger that, Sir,” Steve said. “See you when the comms are back up,” he said, and the screen went dark.

May nodded to Phil. “Ready.”

Phil checked his watch and then looked around the room. “Time to go dark.”

~

Just before Stark and Rogers infiltrated the compound, Phil stopped beside Skye’s center of operations she had set up and handed her the chain that had his and Clint’s wedding bands on it. She looked up at him with wide eyes and he held her gaze firmly. “Don’t want to get blood on them,” he said simply before turning and going to join Ward at the cargo bay to gather up his weapons.

May was standing beside Ward with a gun in her hand. Ward had an M-16 slung over his shoulder and Phil nodded to them before going to open Lola’s trunk. He had two guns on either leg in the holsters, but by the time he was finished and shut Lola’s trunk, he had four extra clips for each gun, six knives, four flash grenades, and a wire garrote on his person. He yanked the strap on his vest tighter as he stepped up to Ward and May, who both looked at him with the perfect masks of real SHIELD Agents. “Skye, when is our drop?” he asked, tapping the comms.

“Stark and Rogers just dropped. We’re dropping the ramp for you three to start your run in less than ninety seconds,” she said, and they nodded to each other, all going to stand near the ramp.

“Ever thought we’d be doing this again when you agreed to be my pilot?” Phil asked May, and she smirked.

“I knew the minute you asked that I wasn’t put out to pasture yet,” she said. 

Phil chuckled darkly. “So the Cavalry rides again.”

Ward glanced sideways at the two older agents. “Thought you didn’t like people calling you that?” he asked May, and she shrugged.

“You’re about to see what earned me that name. May as well live up to it for one mission,” she said darkly.

Phil could sense it in her as well as in himself. The cold detachment as they prepared for something neither of them had done in a long time. SHIELD was different these days. He and Melinda had been from a different generation of SHIELD Agents. Before them, during the founding years of SHIELD, things had been more cautious. However, by the time people like him and May were in the field, SHIELD was at a point where things were pretty dark and dirty. Nearly every operation was a black op. SHIELD wasn’t aligned with any government because no government would own up to the kinds of things they did. Natasha had a background closer to his than Ward ever would. Clint had seen some grim things in his time with them, but the younger ones like Ward had been living in a world where SHIELD was public knowledge and they had the WSC to make sure they didn’t get their hands too dirty anymore.

Phil was glad they had decided Ward was going to join the distraction fight with Stark and Rogers because his husband’s life was on the line and if Ward hesitated it could mean disaster. Phil didn’t have time to give Ward a taste of the darker side when failure could cost him his husband.

“Ramp lowering. Your best luck is to try and get into position in the next nine minutes. It should take six at the most for me to have eyes on everything, so let’s time this right,” Skye instructed.

“Copy that. Widow, are you landed?” Phil asked, watching the ramp, poised to run as soon as it lowered enough.

“Disembarking now. Meet you at the rendezvous point,” she replied.

Phil checked his watch. “Should take approximately seven minutes to reach the wall and an extra ninety seconds to get to the vent and open it.”

Ward glanced at him. “Seven minutes over uneven ground?”

May shot him a look. “If you can’t keep up, it isn’t a problem, you don’t have to follow us over the wall so we don’t need you to stay grouped. You can break away whenever you start to fall behind.”

Phil saw the ramp was almost low enough. “Mark,” he said, and he and May both started running. Ward took a moment to react but kept up as they leapt off the ramp and took off through the woods. Phil knew what Ward thought. He thought two Agents who were both past or closing in on fifty would be in worse shape than he was, but Phil knew Melinda was still as healthy as ever, and he knew whatever he’d been given when he was resurrected made him able to still be in peak physical condition even after lung damage. 

They managed to reach the wall, from where they could hear an alarm blaring throughout the compound, with Ward still on their tail, and when they stopped he kept going. Phil offered May a boost, seamlessly holding out his hands just as she raised her foot, and in one fluid motion, he lifted as she jumped and she grabbed the top of the wall and hauled herself up. Phil was tall enough he could leap and catch the top, pulling himself up just as she dropped over the other side. When he landed beside her, they exchanged a look, nodded, and then sprinted across the open field.

“Forty yards,” Skye said helpfully. “Twenty-five yards. Ten yards, your two o’clock.”

“Target sighted,” Phil said as he and Melinda approached the vent. Phil planted a small charge on the hinge and they both turned away, heads ducked as it blew before turning right back. May unhooked the retractable wire from her belt and, as soon as Phil shoved the vent cover off, she hooked the wire to the edge, adjusted her glovelets, then leapt in, sliding down the wire with ease. Phil waited until she was far enough away he wouldn’t land on her and then leapt into the opening, catching the wire on his way down.

Just as he squeezed to slow down close to the bottom he felt the wire twitch and looked up to see Natasha sliding down after them. He stepped back and she landed neatly, nodding as she turned to face him. “Right on time,” he said, then turned to May, who was already waiting by the access hatch, watching to see when the coast was clear. “Eyes.”

“Two men in fifteen seconds. All civilian personnel has been evacuated so assume everybody you meet is hostile,” Skye replied.

“Copy.” Phil listened to approaching footsteps and the touched May on the elbow. She opened the grate and he dropped through it, landing crouched. It only took two clean shots through the forehead of each target. He straightened and stepped out of the way so Natasha and May could both drop down. 

“Left,” Skye instructed and they started walking. “Be advised, the alarms are about to cut off so maybe try a more silent method than gunshots if at all possible.”

“Understood,” Natasha said, holstering her weapon and drawing a knife.

May shook her gun. “Fitz silenced. Better than a normal silencer.”

Phil holstered his gun and drew a knife. “You can watch our back if we need it, then.” 

“Next right, but be careful, halfway down there is a cross hallway. There’s three men down the left corridor,” Skye informed them. 

When they got to the area she mentioned, one man stepped out, not looking up from his radio, and Phil didn’t hesitate to grab him with one hand over his mouth and then neatly snap his neck. Natasha ducked down the hall and, before his companions could do more than shout in alarm, she had killed them both, one knife to the chest, the other’s neck snapped. 

“Do we have eyes on Hawkeye?” he asked as they continued.

“Not on him physically, but there is a room with no cameras with six guards, so we know where he is. You’re about three minutes from reaching that room. I estimate four dudes before you get there.”

It took three and a half minutes, two bullets, a garroting, and one stabbing to reach the corridor with six guards. May shot one of them, then pocketed her gun since she didn’t have room to aim as soon as they were upon them. Phil ignored the three who weren’t between him and the door, leaving them to his partners. The first charged him and he neatly sidestepped and then buried the knife in his gut. Phil dropped that knife and pulled another from his side, spinning out of the way of a wild swing, only to catch his assailant by the shirt and yank him back. Phil didn’t even think as he raised his knife and slit the throat of the man in his arms. He dropped him, mind not even registering the spray of blood that caught him as the man scrabbled at his destroyed throat on his way to the floor.

“Blow it,” he said as Natasha stepped up and put her explosive disk on the lock. They both stepped to the side as it blew.

When they got into the room, the first thing Phil saw was Clint looking at him from the one blue eye that wasn’t swollen shut. “Hi, Honey, rough day at work?” Clint croaked out with a weak smile.

Phil pocketed his knife and rushed over. “Report,” Phil said as he dropped to his knees, starting on the bounds that held Clint to the chair he was in.

“I’m fine-“

“Barton, report,” Phil said with authority in his tone.

Clint sighed. “Broken ankle for sure. Sluggish bleeding to a stab wound in the side. No arteries or internal injuries, but I’m weak. No food in at least a week. No real amount of water in three days. Just a few sips to keep me alive.” He shook his head. “Lightheaded from blood loss, starvation, and dehydration. I’m gonna be next to no use, Sir.”

Phil nodded, finishing the last strap before standing. “Good thing there’s three of us, then,” he said, ducking under Clint’s arm to help him stand. Natasha and May came in, wiping the blood off their knives on their pants. 

Clint gave what would’ve been a cocky grin if his teeth weren’t colored with blood from his cracked and bleeding lips. “Damn, I didn’t know being a super hero got me the five star rescue.”

Natasha shrugged. “Ran out of books to read,” she said, then came to duck under his other arm so Phil could maneuver Clint’s weight on her.

“Got him?” Phil asked, and she nodded. “Anything we should know before we start going?” he asked Clint, who shrugged, head lolling slightly.

“Don’t even know what they wanted with me. They’re playing the long game. Injuries aren’t from torture, they’re from when I escaped to send the SOS and they caught me again. They’re trying to weaken me up from starvation and dehydration before they start questioning me,” Clint explained. “So I honestly don’t know what we’re up against. Just that they took samples of skin and hair and then tied me up and left me.”

Phil’s jaw clenched. “Body copy.”

Clint blinked. “That’s a thing that they can do now?” he asked. Phil nodded with his jaw clenched and Clint paled. “Shit, Phil.”

“Not now, Barton,” he said, nodding for May to get the door. “Eyes. What’s between us and the Bus?”

“A crapload of men, Sir. Sorry, A.C. Team A are distracting them but more bad guys with tac suits are coming out of the woodworks,” Skye said.

Natasha dug out a comm and stuck it in Clint’s ear for him. “You’ll be glad to know that only the best is running this op,” she said, and Clint frowned.

Phil tapped his comm. “Stark, think you can cause a really big distraction?”

“Agent, I’d be glad to. Coulson-With-Hair, where’s the kitchen in this joint? I think it’s time for the grande finale!”

Skye chuckled. “First floor, back right corner. You’re about two rights and a left from there.”

Clint looked up at Phil in surprise. “Skye? You’re running the op?” Clint asked, and Skye made a soft sound.

“Yes, Sir. Somebody’s gotta keep you SHIELD agents from running into a trap,” she said cooly and Clint smiled to himself. “And speaking of which, there’s a team of what I believe to be eight coming straight to you.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, then nodded to Phil and May. “You heard the woman, I may not be much use, but give me a gun and I can watch your backs.”

Phil dug out one of his guns and handed it over, checking the clip and tucking another in Clint’s pocket. “Don’t shoot one of us,” he said and Clint glared mockingly.

“I never miss,” he asserted, shifting to help take more of his weight so Natasha could move easier. 

When they opened the door, Natasha and Clint stayed ducked in the doorway as Phil and May simply stepped out. Phil and May immediately opened fire, taking out the first two in the two lines of four men in formation. Before the others could raise their guns, Phil and May sprinted towards them and attacked. Phil hoped May was having as much ease as he was as he wrapped the ends of the garotte around a man’s throat as he leapt and flipped over his body, holding the ends of the garrote over his shoulder with his left hand, the man struggling against his back, as he pulled a knife with his right hand and slashed the throat of the man in front of him, kicking him in the back to send him sprawling. He yanked and the neck of the man at his back snapped. He released one end of the wire and dropped the body, turning to kick the next person in the chest. Someone grabbed his arm and he spun around, dragging the man until his back as to Phil’s chest. He raised the still bloody knife and slid his throat neatly, shoving him off. 

Phil turned to prepare for the next assailant and saw May standing up, wiping off her own blade once more before sheathing it. Phil nodded to her, copying her action. “Clear. What next?” he asked over the comms. There was a short silence and Phil could imagine everybody had to be surprised that an eight man attack squad had been taken down in thirty seconds by two seasoned agents, but he didn’t have time to worry about what the others would think of him when they got back. He had to focus on getting them back. 

“Large explosion in fifteen seconds. Not sure how the underground bunker will hold up with the shock wave, so get to the vent exit ASAP,” Skye instructed.

Years of training had them all sprinting immediately. Even with a broken ankle for Clint and Clint’s extra weight for Natasha, they kept up pretty well as Phil and May lead the way. It was no longer time for secrecy so any person that stepped in their way, Phil and May shot, with an occasional bullet behind them from Clint and Natasha. The explosion rocked the place and Phil heard ominous cracks throughout the halls and echoes of the alarm starting up again covering them. When they got to the vent, Phil went up first and May followed. Together the each took one of Clint’s arms and helped him pull himself up. Once he was up, Natasha pulled herself up neatly. They got to the wire and May and Natasha started up first so they could cover Phil and Clint.

“Hang on, because if you fall back down, I’ll leave you,” Phil warned, and Clint smiled as he looped his arms and legs around Phil from behind. 

“Of course you would, Sir,” he mumbled as Phil started the climb. It was a lot harder to climb with an extra hundred and eighty pounds of muscle on his back, but Phil had carried men on a climb before. He’d never had quite as much an interest in getting a man to safety before this one, either.

“Be advised, Ward has arrived to aid in extraction while Cap and Stark keep drawing fire,” Skye informed them.

When Phil got to the top, Natasha and May helped haul him and Clint over the lip while Ward knelt with his M-16, firing blasts at those coming towards them from the main mansion. Phil could see Stark and Rogers running and flying around, silhouetted against the flaming mansion behind them. He looked at Clint, who was standing but unable to put weight on his injured ankle at all. “It’s nearly a mile to the Bus, can you make it, Specialist?” Phil asked.

Clint tried to step and paled rapidly, jaw clenching in pain. “I can make it, but not fast,” he gritted out. 

Phil handed Clint another gun. “Stark,” he said, tapping his comm. “Come get Barton.” He nodded to Clint. “See you in a few minutes,” he said, and with that he and the others all took off running towards the wall. 

~

When Phil, Ward, and May got to the Bus, Natasha and Captain Rogers having headed to the quinjet, Phil had a moment to wonder why Barton and Stark were just standing outside Bus before Stark suddenly fell to the ground with a heavy ‘thunk’ and Phil realized the comms were out. He held up his hand to signal the others stop behind him, and they crouched in the underbrush. Phil scanned the clearing and saw a woman standing with something in her hand. He signaled for Ward to draw fire and he started silently running in a wide circle, eyes on the woman. 

As he got closer he heard her talking. “I still need information, Barton. Your people wrecked my labs, so I definitely need information now more than ever. So you’re going to come quietly before your friends get here, or I’ll kill them, too.”

Phil stepped out behind her, gun in his hand. Clint clenched his fist at his side and Phil nodded. “You know, you say that, but I have some news for you,” Clint said and Phil closed the last few steps and grabbed her by the throat, firing the gun in her back before he could even reply.

She made a strangled sound, and then fell as he tossed her aside. He flipped her over with the toe of his boot and kicked the device from her hand. She was paralyzed, it seemed, as she lay gasping an choking on blood, eyes wide towards the sky. Phil grabbed the device – a localized EMP it seemed – and backed off while May ran out to tie her hands even as she bled out.

Phil turned to Clint, and started forward. “It’s a shame she won’t live. But then again, who does?” he quoted with a smirk and Clint smiled, eyes growing dark even as he swayed.

“Oh my God, if there was enough blood in my body, I’d be so hard right now, you have no idea,” he said, and Phil laughed softly as he caught Clint by the waist and ducked under his arm. “No, seriously, Phil, you make a nerdy quote while in your cat suit after personally saving my ass. Boss, you could not get any sexier right now if you tried.”

“Whoaaaa not the time I needed come down here, yuck!” Skye said suddenly, and they looked up to see her heading down the ramp. “Please tell me somebody else heard that and can second my ‘ewww’.”

“Totally gross,” Stark called, voice echoing from inside the suit he was still suck in. “Where’s your little geeky dude so he can get me out of this thing?” Stark asked, voice comically tinny sounding from inside the suit.

Clint cracked up, snickering as he looked down at Stark. “You’re lucky he’s covered in blood, otherwise I’d totally be making out with him right here standing over your suit,” he said and Skye mimed gagging.

“Please don’t, I’m too young to have to shoot myself,” she said, but then smiled and ran down the ramp to grab Clint, hugging him tight.

Clint smiled and kissed her hair. “I’m okay, I’m fine,” he whispered, and she smiled brightly as she pulled back.

“You freaking better be,” she said, punching him in the shoulder. “If you make me think you’re dead again, I’m kicking your ass, broken leg or not,” she threatened.

Clint rubbed his shoulder, raising an eyebrow as she walked away to go find Fitz. He looked back at Phil, giving an appraising shrug. “She actually can hit pretty hard now,” he said, and Phil smiled, nodding. 

“Let’s get you on board,” Phil said, helping Clint get up the ramp while Ward and May took care of checking out the now dead woman and Fitz darted past them with a tool kit to break Stark out of his shell.

~

Phil walked into Stark’s lab to see where his team had gone, only to hesitate when he saw that they were watching the security footage from the rescue with the rest of the Avengers, including Thor, who looked mildly horrified at what he was seeing. Phil stepped closer on silent feet and stilled when he saw himself and May taking out an entire team of eight with only two bullets and then a lot of bloody violence. He had mostly zoned in on ‘defeat the enemy’ when he was doing it, so he was even a little surprised at how easily the him on the screen flipped over a man while wrapping a wire around his neck and then strangled the man and slashed another’s throat simultaneously. He saw his face when he and May were finished and he could remember how red the water had run when he washed all that blood off in the shower after. 

“Still think we’re old,” Phil asked Ward, startling everybody but May and Natasha, who had heard him come up, and Clint, who tipped his head back over the arm of the couch where he was laying with his foot up and smiled.

“Did Pretty Boy seriously say something about you guys being old?” Clint asked as Phil walked over. Clint sat up and Phil sat down, letting Clint lay back across his lap. 

Ward cleared his throat awkwardly. “I’m assuming May isn’t the only one who earned a name for herself at SHIELD?” he asked, and May snorted.

“You know Coulson was my partner back then. He wasn’t there in Bahrain, but he was there all the times before,” she said. 

Natasha’s lips quirked dangerously when the other all turned to look back at the SHIELD Agents. “SHIELD is nothing like it used to be, Ward. The only ones of us that still have those kinds of skillsets came from a different background or were around then.”

Clint nodded. “I was young and green back the last time we had SHIELD sanctioned missions so bloody, but that right there? That’s what everybody could do. You’re all handled with kid gloves now.”

Fitz looked green. “You mean that kind of bloody was the _norm_?”

Phil shrugged. “Not all of us,” he said, absently playing with Clint’s hair. “But let’s just say there have only been a few SHIELD Agents make it to retirement age, but when you three are old enough to retire, it’s likely you’ll still be around.”

“Stark was the only one of the original founders to retire, and he only got out to focus on his own business,” May said and Tony looked back.

“Yep, I didn’t even know my dad was involved in SHIELD until Fury came to talk to me about the Avengers,” he said to the rest.

Bruce was still looking at the still shot of Phil and May’s blood-soaked forms and he quirked his lips, looking up. “I’m suddenly really glad you two were SHIELD instead of working for Ross,” he muttered sardonically. 

Natasha nodded. “I got lucky that they sent Clint after me, not Phil. Phil was calling the shots, but if he’d had the gun in his hand, I’d be dead now.”

Clint smirked. “Yep, you’re lucky I’m a sap with a soft spot for assassins who clearly don’t want to be controlled anymore. I got lucky I’m pretty or else Phil would’ve taken me out instead of just shot me in a non-vital area.”

“Your face had nothing to do with me choosing to take you in instead of take you out,” Phil grumbled and Clint snorted.

“Yeah right, you saw this sweet ass and thought ‘man, I can’t kill him’-“

“Your shot saved your life, not my libido,” Phil countered and Clint wiggled his eyebrows, looking up from his lap.

“It still thanks you for making that call, though,” he drawled and Phil rolled his eyes.

“Speaking of things I never wanted to hear,” Skye said suddenly, glaring at her parents. “Tony and I figured out how we had a body,” she said more soberly.

Stark nodded, and closed the screen and called something else up. “These schematics were on a drive in the dead woman’s pocket. It’s for a machine that copies the human body right down to the DNA and identifying marks,” he said, and Phil watched a chamber spin in the schematic. “You put in a living person, and it’s like a 3D printer for a person. However, the inside is hollow. They’ve managed bones but not organs. That’s why they made it look like he’d been dissected.”

Skye nodded, walking into the hologram to shove some things out of the way. “See this? That’s where they insert bones that match the DNA but don’t bear the same injuries as the external marks. That’s the only thing that made us realize you weren’t you, Clint. That and the fact that, since the body is manufactured standing up, the bottom of the feet are flat, not contoured.”

Clint chuckled. “Would be hard to be a SHIELD Agent with flat feet.”

Phil caught Clint’s hand and stroked the ring on his finger, staring at the machine schematics, biting his lip. “This is a dangerous invention,” he muttered softly. “It fooled me, Clint. I’ve known you seventeen years. I have stitched up and even put some of the injuries on your body and I didn’t have any reason to doubt those scars were the real deal. The average body check, just visual and DNA? It would’ve passed. SHIELD is one of the only ones that X-rays a body where the cause of death is obvious and the DNA matches. If they hadn’t done that, and if you hadn’t got that signal out, we’d have never found you.” He squeezed Clint’s hand. “Seventeen years knowing you, and that copy fooled me.”

Tony nodded grimly. “We need to find out what they were doing and find out if they still have this device or if it was destroyed when that bunker collapsed.”

“I take it we will soon search for this creation?” Thor asked the group, and Bruce nodded.

“Tony and I will get started on compiling a list of components and searching for buyers. It may take a while, but it’s a big problem if that tech gets out,” he agreed. “That body fooled someone who, without getting crass, knows every single inch of the real thing,” he said, cheeks slightly pink. “Clearly, it’s something that needs to be neutralized. 

Clint smirked. “Bruce, are you blushing? Seriously? You know-“

“Please, whatever you’re about to say, just don’t,” Simmons said suddenly, cheeks flushed. “There are things I do not need to hear and among those are my superior officer’s bedroom habits, so if you could keep it to yourself, that would be nice.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “I apologize for my husband, he’s a child,” he said and Fitz shrugged.

“Could be worse, Jemma, you were asleep and didn’t have to hear Ward’s sex noises. I’m pretty much scarred for life after that,” he said, and Ward choked on air, nearly tumbling out of his chair whereas May just narrowed her eyes at Fitz.

Phil sighed, dropping his forehead to rest against Clint’s hair when everybody else started laughing, catcalling, and making dirty remarks. “The fate of the world rests in the hands of these idiots,” he lamented. 

Clint smiled, tilting his head back and kissing Phil’s cheek. “Hmmmm yeah, but at least they’re well trained idiots.”

Phil chuckled and sat up, curling his fingers through Clint’s on Clint’s chest. “‘They’ nothing, you count as one of the idiots.”

Clint shrugged. “Then I’m your idiot,” he conceded, and Phil’s chest tightened.

He nodded, stroking his thumb over Clint’s wedding band. He had learned the hard way what it felt like to think Clint was gone, and he had never been more thankful for the man in his lap to be looking up at him, no matter how annoying he was being. Phil nodded, and smiled softly. 

“You’re absolutely my idiot.”


End file.
